of dislocation & graceful unravelling

Robot Sarah Jane Smith from Doctor Who: The Android Invasion, 13x4 (1975)

recklesschants:

“Don’t you hate it when you have this zine crush, and they’re dating someone who doesn’t even make zines. Like, long-term dating. It’s so perplexing. You want to appeal to their sense of reason: Think of all the creative things we could be sharing. Writing letters to faraway friends, as we sit across from one another at the coffee shop. Or taking turns flipping over the record, as we create a cut n’ paste mess in the dining room. We could be so right together. Why are you with someone who owns an Xbox?”

— “For K.” (from Zine Crush) oh. ow. none of the people I’ve ever long-term dated have been zinesters, & it has sometimes made me sad. and my current long-term honey doesn’t own an Xbox, but he sure does watch a lot of TV.

Strongly disagree! This excerpt is cute & all, and I get it — it reminds me a lot of bemoaning the punk boys’ penchant for dating “preppy girls” when I was in high school, and how that used to be so sad and confusing to me.

But in my own experience, I completely treasure and require the solitude of writing, whether it’s zines, letters, or otherwise — it’s something that is truly mine, and even within a mostly happy, functional, monogamous commitment, there are still important things I gotta keep for myself, navigating interpersonal boundaries & stuff… Plus I like that my significant-dude doesn’t do zines or blogs because rather than having a potential co-author, I have a round-the-clock editor who can look at my material with somewhat fresh eyes — at least, fresh in the sense of not knowing ‘bout zine and blog “styles” and tropes, so in that sense his input is more valuable to me for the content and writing itself. Even when I co-wrote zines with some of my best ladyfriends, the actual writing we did separately, privately, and then came together to collaborate on furious and brutally honest editing, layout, and collating sessions.

I’ve mostly dated artistic types and I like that while our creative interests sometimes intersect (writing and printmaking, music and photography) and overlap (in varying degrees of skill), we’re not always just doing the same thing… so there’s this “creative activity” part of the relationship where we can go and make some things individually and then discuss/edit together (“wanna see this thing I did?”) and then sometimes collaborate based on what we’re better at (can you draw some pictures for my zine? can you take some photos for my album liner notes? etc.) and I like those times a lot because of the interplay of experience & inexperience. Having a non-writer critique my stuff is important because I’m not just writing for other writers… so it’s important for me to get an idea about whether or not I’m communicating effectively before I go out and make a hundred copies. And with me being a not-so-serious musician (but a great music-appreciator) I can offer enough knowledgeable input on my dude’s recordings to talk about whether it’s good or needs work. Sometimes it’s like the level of trust we have personally and the levels of inexperience we have with each other’s creative specialties, make for a relatively safe zone for non-hurtful but honest feedback.

& as for the TV/xBox thing, it’s funny, ‘cause my dude spends a lot of time watching TV (or youtubes/netflix) & rarely, like, reads books… which was at first shocking to me BUT later I decided I was being an arrogant smartypants jerk. He doesn’t enjoy reading very often (which, okay, is still shocking to me), but he watches things — whether it’s historical documentaries or the weather channel or Judge Judy or failblog — in a very active, thoughtful, criticizing manner, and learns a lot and bring a lot to the conversational table, from this medium that I’m just not that into. & it ends up being way cool and thought-provoking to me that we can have a discussion about seemingly trite shows like Cheaters and To Catch a Predator and end up relating it to ideas about entrapment, voyeurism, privacy, some academic/philosophical essays on morality and lying that I’ve read, relationships, etc.

I mean I’m not personally partial to TV/screen media for reasons (see obviously, Marshall McLuhan, Gerry Mander, & um, Adbusters, CrimethInc., et al) but it is nonetheless a method of transmitting information. I don’t think it always by default makes or requires the viewer/consumer to be dumb and passive — it’s what you do with it. I mean watching The X-Files together during rainy days sometimes was admittedly a fun bonding moment. Shit, watching Married with Children like, helps improve our relationship, to a certain, humorously sarcastic extent.

PS - Jess, btw, I’m not tryna argue with your own comment/sentiment, just felt compelled to Have an Opinion about the quote since it gave me a good excuse to blag about this stuff. I love writing about ~the creative process~ and also media consumption, but I always feel like a big-headed jerk when I get on a soapbox without the excuse of a relevant prompt. :P So thanks for the post!

(Source: dreksdeixis)

feministfilm:

sunneinsplendour:

So this is a post that has been a long time coming, ever since I started tracking the Betty Draper tag basically and was exposed to a whole new level of vitriol that I didn’t think a fandom - whom I always used to consider pretty classy - was capable…

I just started watching Mad Men and I’m only in the middle of Season 3, so I’m not sure if my opinion would change as Betty’s character is further developed. Also I have not explored any Mad Men fandom type forums at all and only had a few discussions about Relevant Issues regarding the show.

That being said, in re: item #1, “Betty Draper is a bad mother” - as yet in my viewing experience, I haven’t labelled her a “bad mother.” Partially this might be due to my own childhood; I was raised by parents who were not necessarily opposed to shouting at or spanking a kid for disciplinary purposes. It didn’t happen often, but it was a thing that happened. (At the same time, my mom raised hell when she found out my Kindergarten teacher was smacking me around.) And although I wouldn’t spank my own kids, I don’t personally feel that what I experienced was all that detrimental in the long run, despite the fact that it would be defined as abuse nowadays, technically. (And also despite the fact that surely some people will say I’m messed up for thinking what happened to me is not messed up, when taken as a whole. Whatever, unabashedly confessional y’all.)

So far as I’ve watched in the series, there have been many tense moments where Betty is mean, cold, or curt to her kids. I actually thought this was kind of a brave thing to be showing on TV (though I am loathe to describe a television program as “brave”) because I read it as a kind of authenticity. I mean, you have the cheerful 50s mom Leave It to Beaver-esk stereotype — all of which is covered in the linked commentary. But still today, regardless of our privilege of 20/20 hindsight into how messed up the past was, this stereotype of the happy mother joyously sacrificing everything for the sake of her angelic children is still all the rage.

Motherhood-as-a-concept is made out to be this life-changing experience where despite all the sleepless nights and poopy diapers and stained clothes and hurty tits (not to mention finding time for the rest of your life and maintaining sanity and being an individual person with thoughts) — you are so happy, so so overjoyed, and it is The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You (tm). Which I wouldn’t argue with per se. I have experienced the feeling of overwhelming love for one’s child and it is a thing that is real. But then there are the other realities of cleaning up messes and crying and losing your mind and being exhausted and also at the same time, making sure to always have something grateful to say about the joys of parenting and always have a happy face. These are the things I haven’t experienced and this is part of what terrifies me about eventually raising a kid… what happens when I mess up? There’s a lot of pressure to Not Mess Up around your kids because if you get angry you will RUIN THEM FOR LIFE.

So to me, Betty Draper’s character as a mom offers glimpses into a kind of parenting that can be a real thing. Not the kind you’ll see on cutesy Facebook posts or photo albums. There are going to be days when the parent is tired and snaps at the kids. There are days when the parents can’t take it anymore because as precious and beautiful and amazing as children are, they can also be hellish. I know this because I used to be a kid and I was kind of an asshole sometimes. Parents don’t become perfect and infallible after having kids; they’re still human and they still have to deal with their human shit while also being responsible for a smaller human. Life doesn’t stop being difficult forever simply because something allegedly miraculous happened to you once or twice.

I once read a story — I think it was in Breeder but I will have to go and search to confirm because I’m not totally certain — that was about how when a woman gives birth, she will undoubtedly (due to emotions as well as the rush of hormones) feel this overwhelming, universal rush of perfect love for her newborn; this helps in the initial attachment and bonding process. The author of this particular birth story wrote that after hours of laboring, squatting and on all fours, when her baby was finally born, the mother’s first thought was to eat her child. Like some kind of atavistic wolf instinct. I’ve never read another birth story like this. You don’t want to tell people about that feeling; that shit is weird and inappropriate. The mother was troubled by these feelings and regardless of her doing all the right things and being a good mom/caretaker, she still felt like a freak because Parenting is Hard and it wasn’t all cupcakes and rainbows. She loved her kid fiercely, but raising an infant for her was a lot of craziness. I loved that story because it was honest as shit. I don’t want to hear about how having a kid made your life perfect and amazing and everyone should have teh babiez it is the best!!! I want to know about the real human shit so that I don’t have to constantly fear that I will totally fall short of this unattainable magical standard of motherhood simply because I am a lady who can caretake and feel beauty and joy and overwhelming love but also who sometimes feels tired and sometimes gets angry and sometimes just doesn’t have time for the bullshit and needs to be left alone every now and then to think. Is there something wrong with still wanting to be a person while you’re caring for another person?

/TV SHOWS THAT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT SERIOUS ISSUES.

ETA: Case in Point: WHAT HAPPENED, MOMMY?

(Source: thechocolatebrigade, via ratticus)

thedailywhat:

Easter Egg of the Day: Want to know why Community is getting canceled? Because it’s simply too amazing for this world.

You already know how chock-full of Easter Eggs it is, right? Well, someone just found the best one yet.

It seems that the writers have been sneaking the word “Betelgeuse” into the script of a single episode each season.

Check out what happened when the word was uttered a third time during the show’s Halloween episode, “Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps.” (Hint: Look behind Annie.)

Pure brilliance.

[reddit.]

I’ve never seen this show, but I did watch Beetlejuice twice in a row yesterday, so this did make me a little squee-ly.

(via bcfortenberry)

Although I was raised Roman Catholic, I don’t recall getting scolded very much for “sinning.” The only really important “sin” in our (7-person) family was wasting food. If we were ever caught throwing uneaten food away, Mom would remind us that “children are starving in Ethiopia” (and everywhere else, but this was during the time when Sally Struthers was begging for donations on TV a lot) and that “wasting food is a SIN.”

Later, I added boredom to my own list of “sins,” as it were. (Or rather maybe, “negative behaviors that should be avoided.”) If us kids complained of boredom, Dad would hand over a broom or a dishtowel and say, “you’re bored? I’ll give ya somethin’ to do!”

So I agree with this:

“‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. And even the inside of your own mind is endless. It goes on forever inwardly. Do you understand? Being the fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to be bored.”

…

As an aside, when I’m at my dish-wrangling job on the weekends, one of the saddest things I witness is entire families sitting down for a meal, and everyone’s got their eyes locked to a device with a screen: Dad’s checking stocks on his smartphone, Mom’s shopping on the iPad, and the kids are playing handheld video games. And no one is talking to each other.

(via blake500)

via: M thru F.

Sometimes I feel weird when TV shows get me all teary-eyed, but, this.

David Shrigley: CCTV

Cartoon Planet was a spin-off of Space Ghost Ghost to Coast which aired between 1995-1999.  During “Mail Bag Day” segments they read and responded to letters from viewers like ME!… as evidenced by this audio-clip from Season 1, Episode 18: “Deadly Blasts of Hot Air.”

I never actually saw this episode when it was on television, but my little sisters swore that they’d read my letter and made fun of our last name.  Thanks to the magic of technology, and other people’s compulsions to document every single transcript and episode of this series, I now have proof (12 years after the fact!) that they weren’t just teasing me.

ALSO I AM NOW A FAMOUS TELEVISION STAR.